Laughing News From Slap Happy News Magazine

 BREAKING: Man on the Moon Reports “Out of This World” Traffic Jam 

#101

A man stranded on the Moon says traffic has become unbearable after
three lunar rovers showed up at the same crater. “There’s nowhere to
park,” he complained, while standing in the only parking spot. 

# 2
"The broadcast didn't come in through the radio, but through the
ripples in every cup of tea on Earth. It was the Man on the Moon, and
he wasn't sending warnings or scientific data—he was sending jokes.
The 'Laughing News' had officially begun, and for the first time in
history, the world stopped worrying and started listening for the
punchline."

Here is the latest bulletin from the Lunar Broadcast Network. It seems the Man on the Moo is finding plenty to laugh about today:

The LBN Evening Edition: "Low Gravity, High Spirits"

• Weather Report: "It’s currently a brisk -200 degrees with a 100% chance of stars. I tried to catch some fog earlier, but I mist. Don't worry, though—things are looking up. Mostly because I have no choice; the Earth is right there."

• Local Sports: "The Moon-Rock Rolling Championships were cancelled again. Turns out, there’s no point in a trophy if everyone’s already a 'heavyweight' champion back on Earth. In other news, I tried to play baseball today, but my fastball ended up in orbit. If anyone in Florida sees a signed sphere, that’s mine."

• Health & Wellness: "I’ve decided to go on a diet, but I’m struggling. I keep telling myself I need more 'space,' but then I see the Milky Way and I just want a snack. I’m thinking of opening a restaurant here. Great food, but no atmosphere."

• Closing Thought: "Why did I get kicked out of the lunar party? Because I didn't planet well. Stay bright, Earthlings!"

•